[Edit: Updated this with a presentation of the list. Slightly modified.]

A personal pledge made public, because you always hold me to it world. Because I love much of what technology and post-modern culture has brought us – but not all of what it has wrought on our delicate abilities to really enjoy, or think or grow together.

p.s. where I say “read” you can read read, view, listen, consume or any partaking of content. Same goes for “writing”. I recommend reading the list first, then the detail points. Or skip to the bullet with your lucky number on it and read that first. It all works.

1. I will not consume anything not worth consuming with my complete attention.^[1]
2. I will seek my friends out where they are, not where I am.^[2]
3. I will not simply read about experiences I can have myself.^[3]
4. I will use language as a plaything but never to obscure meaning or lack of thought.^[4]
5. I will not engage in conversation where I am not fully present.^[5]
6. I will seek timelessness not timeliness.^[6]
7. I will resort to irony as a means of appreciation, only where I am subverting it, not simply excusing it.^[7]
8. I will not preach to the converted nor will I play devil’s advocate – I will only argue where there is a chance either one of us might change our minds.^[8]
9. I will shop locally for my art, and globally for my ideas.^[9]
10. I will be an unashamed member of the audience unless I can make better or make right.^[10]
11. I will keep it as simple as it can be, but never so short that I am only making someone else’s point.^[11]
12. I will always think first of what writing can do to help me understand what I am feeling or thinking, or to help me remember either – never for what it will say to others about me.^[12]
13. I will share my feelings through glances, grasped wrists and excited babbles not intermediated words.^[13]

Feedback welcome. This is an evolving list of saccharine-dripping ideals by which I hope to enjoy a better modern life. Because it can be rubbish, but it doesn’t need to be.

1. ^[1] Because multi-tasking is never more of an illusion as when it is allowing me to waste time consuming something I don’t really love. ↩
2. ^[2] Because ambient awareness of my friends is worse than a tease of the wonderful experience of being with them. ↩
3. ^[3] Because there is precious little time to enjoy all the wonders of the world – but that is not made up for by my becoming even more aware of things I am not doing. ↩
4. ^[4] Because expressions can be beautiful – but never as beautiful as a great idea. ↩
5. ^[5] Because I owe you my ability to listen. ↩
6. ^[6] Because nothing is so important that I cannot give it time to prove itself before I pay attention to it. ↩
7. ^[7] Because resorting to the back-story to enjoy an experience is a feeble replacement for achieving an unmitigated flow of enjoyment in the now. ↩
8. ^[8] Because surrounding yourself with the like-minded or “yes”-men” will never grow your ideas and your ideas will never change the world. And because no idea is worth holding onto that you have not tested outside your comfort zone. ↩
9. ^[9] Because context is what brings meaning to ideas – but the world is too small to restrict yourself to ideas that happen to happen near you. ↩
10. ^[10] Because we can give too much value to instant public agreement or dismissal, liking or rating – and not enough to spending time understanding what we have just read. ↩
11. ^[11] Because we too often share so much without adding any of our self to it. ↩
12. ^[12] Because my personal brand is not worth the powerpoint slide it is printed on compared with feeling honest and healthy about myself – for just myself. ↩
13. ^[13] Because words are poor substitutes for shared experiences and non-verbal cues. And hugs. ↩

NB: This post goes best with the opening track off the Sleigh Bells awesome debut album.

So we^[1] had somewhat of a response^[2] to our not actually a real conference programme.

We’d kind of like to just skip the conference and take those who responded out for cocktails. Actually that might happen.^[3] The conference though… well we also had people asking about speaking, offering to help and wanting to try some of the ideas at their own conferences – or wanting speakers on the topics we listed. Hey, the ideas are free. As in speech – and beer. Well, speech. The beer will require a sponsor. ^[4].

We were really just giving @gnat some ideas over drinks (always fun, even more so in person) but it seems a shame to waste the bringing together of all you talented and excitable folk who responded. So how about this – leave your details below and we’ll see what happens. Whether you want to speak at a get-your-hands-dirty-like-your-martinis () conference, know someone you think should speak (even/especially if they’re not a speaking-circuit speaker), have some other ideas, or just want to drink cocktails/turn up if something like it happened.

We might not be involved, but if we hear anything we’ll tip you off. We promise not to give your details to anyone else. But if we think that you’re a good match, then we’ll introduce you to what/who-ever via email – individually.^[5]

1. ^[1] that’s teh jo and i. you might know us from such things as, that couple you danced with manically that one night, them who got unmarried then cup-ed for reasons you didn’t quite grasp, or them-with-their-powers-combined-form-captain-excitable ↩
2. ^[2] some of the responses via twitter ↩
3. ^[3] Actually, the next time you see us say the words “sleigh bells” and the cocktail is on us. Unless it comes up accidentally in a conversation about Xmas because that’d make December an expensive month for us. ↩
4. ^[4] gratis versus libre ↩
5. ^[5] because vegans hate spam even more than omnivores ↩

Update: This still isn’t real, but if you want to give us your details so we can let you know if anything like it happens (whether as a speaker or attendee) you can go fill out this form.

@Gnat was asking for suggestions on how to do a “social media” conference with integrity^[1] So we^[2] had some drinks and created a programme for a fictional conference. It’s a bit tongue-in-cheek, mildly laced with in-jokes and probably altogether too-much for a real conference. But there might be some ideas there if anyone is looking.

Having been to conferences Gnat (and the lovely and talented Jenine) have organised I can confidently say, the planning’s not done (well) in an evening over booze. I’m sure at least 2 more (nights or cocktails) would be required to really polish this up.

We did try to solve a few problems, some of them specific to social media and other online marketing conferences, some to bad conferences in general:

• Too many conferences are packed with speakers and attendees from Agencies who are just there to sell their services through thinly disguised “case studies”: So we’ve given them an explicit place to sell, in a more entertaining and competitive way.
• People come from client-side to conferences with real problems but often there’s no one connecting the dots between sessions and their problems: So we’ve given them an opportunity to get expert opinions.
• Sessions at conferences are often disconnected with no consistent narrative, at the best there is a theme: So we’ve themed both days. And more so we’ve created a mechanism whereby a portion of each presentation tackles the same challenge – to showcase the ideas in a consistent way.
• We’re a big fan of less-organised, and more interactive unconferences^[3] where the programme, and sessions are more collaborative affairs. But we recognise not everyone is keen to have to participate quite so much. So we’ve created an environment where people can interact if they want to, and if they’re shy the programme will gently ramp up to a point where they might speak up over 2 days.
• Agencies are there, clients are there… but with all this talk of conversation, where are the customers? So we’ve introduced sessions where we bring customers into the conference to hear from them first hand.
• We know companies send people to conferences to network, but not everyone is comfortable around strangers: So we’ve created a business card swapping game to break the ice.
• We like to give back: So we’ve created a session where attendees can put their knowledge to work for a charity.
• We think life is better if its more like a game: So we’ve made a game to play throughout the conference.

So onto the programme.

Cocktails & dreams: Raising the bar for Social Media Marketing

Notes for Attendees:

• The conference would prefer if you refrain from engaging with digital social media during the conference and instead engage with our speakers and your fellow attendees during sessions.
• Taking notes digitally is discouraged – full videos of speakers and notes will be provided via an online locker immediately after the conference.
• Creative analogue note taking is encouraged – A2 paper and felt-tips will be provided to every attendee at your tables. After a session, if you’re proud of your doodlings submit them to be put on our “fridge-door”. Best doodlings win prizes at the end of each day. If you can’t draw – capture a quote.
• We’ll have our session-visualisers in attendance to mind-map out each presentation visually – these will be available on the wall immediately after to spark conversation during breaks.

Cocktail Networking Game

When you arrive at the conference you’ll be given a pack of customised business cards with your details on one side – and various cocktail ingredients on the other. And throughout the 2-days you’ll find clues hidden on presenters slides, given to you by staff and elsewise – leading you to work out the ingredients in the mystery cocktail. Over the days, between sessions and at the Cocktail session you should trade your cards with people you meet so you get all the mystery ingredients. Be selective which ones you give away! Its a great excuse to get to know your fellow attendees – and to win.

Programme

Day 1

Getting to know your customers (listening)

The theme for today is using social media and conversational research to get closer to your customers by listening – before engaging.

8:30am – Welcome

Opening words from the chairperson.

8:45am – “Ad Agencies vs. Social Media Consultant Challenge” Introduction

3 Ad Agency creatives and 3 Social Media consultants will go head to head to solve a business problem using their respective disciplines. Meet the contestants and hear the challenges. They’ll present back on the second day.

If you’d like to participate as a contestant, or have a business problem you need solved (or just a product or service you need a creative marketing for) then sign-up in advance and you might get chosen. Show off your skills or win some free work from some of the best.

9:00am – Meet the business

Throughout the speaker sessions over the next two days the last 5-10 minutes of each presentation will be dedicated to the speaker exploring what the ideas they have presented might mean for a fictional business, “Cocktails & dreams”. In order to help you really see what their ideas mean in a consistent fashion. In this quick session we’ll introduce you to the make-believe business and their challenge in releasing a new premium spirit range into a crowded market. Then throughout each session you’ll see a story develop detailing how they might achieve success through social media from various points-of-view.

9:15am – “When all we had was social media”

Before the invention of the printing press and mass media, all media was conversational. Learn about the history of conversationa; marketing – from campfires to ancient market places. Relearning the on hands-on techniques of persuasion we’re only just regaining now with the rise of “social media” and “word of mouth” marketing.

10:00am – “Living with your customers”

Learn the techniques of the digital ethnographer who conducts research into online, and physical communities, to understand how they use technology to shape their lives and the places they live. See how you can conduct your own online research and workshop with customers to gain insights that make your marketing and products really shine.

10:45am – Morning tea

Not yet time for cocktails.

11:00am – “Social media bullies”

When loudmouths ruin it for your real customers. Learn how to weed out the social media douchebags who are just out to gain attention and notoriety by criticising your business. Techniques for silencing the naysayers and letting your real customers engage with your brand via social media without the noise. How to make loving your brand a rewarding experience for you and them.

11:45am – “5-minute case studies”

45 minutes of quick-fire presentations from agencies and clients. Each presenting a single case-study of true success, or abject failure via social media.

If you’d like to present your case-study then sign-up in advance.

12:30pm – Lunch

A drink with lunch is OK right?

1:45pm – “Being fun to work with”

If you dread meetings – or fear people dread your meetings then you need this session. Learn from agency creatives how they workshop creative ideas for advertising campaigns and how these techniques can be used within your organisation to generate insights and ideas for social media execution.

2:30pm – “Everyone can do it”

Social media skills are no good in the hands of a few. When everyone in the world can tweet a question at your business – you’ll need some backup to answer them back. Lead about operationalising social media for supporting your products and service. How to create a framework for letting your staff safely listen to, and answer questions in social media when things go wrong.

3:15pm – Afternoon tea

Sorry, still not time for cocktails.

3:30pm – “Not 3:45 live: cases from the kids”

Meet six Primary and High School kids and hear about how they use social media technologies in their everyday lives to get direct insights into the consumer behaviours your business will have to be dealing with any day now.

4:00pm – Charity Challenge Introduction

Meet four charities – each does some great work, but each is faced with the same problem – getting their cause noticed with little marketing budget amongst a sea of other causes.

Each will spend 5 minutes introducing themselves and then you can forget about them… till tomorrow – or discuss with other attendees between sessions or over drinks how we might help them.

4:30pm – “Reading the entrails”

Learn how to become a modern day haruspex^[4] and read your analytics, search engine rankings and various other digital sensors to measure you and your competitor’s success. Learn when to believe the numbers and when to ignore them and go on gut instinct.

5:15pm – Fridge-door doodling winners announced and Day 1 summary

5:30pm – Cocktails w/ the “Word-of-Mouths cocktail challenge”

Join us for drinks, networking and a challenge.

Practice your ability to make ideas go viral – invent a cocktail from our range of spirits and mixers and try and sell your fellow attendees on it as you chat about the first day. After the first few rounds conference staff will choose the one they heard the most buzz about as the winner. And you’ll no doubt get some clues for the cocktail game.

Day 2

“Reaching out to your customers (talking)”

By the second day we’ve decided you know enough to let you talk to your customers – so we’ll focus on acting on your learnings from day 1.

9:00am – Day 2 Introduction

9:15am – “Ad Agencies versus Social Media Consultant Challenge” presentation

Our Agencies and SMCs present back their ideas from yesterday’s challenge and you decide the winners! It’ll be your turn to get creative later in the day.

10:00am – “School reports”

Ever since High School we’ve avoided anything resembling the dreaded school reports – they’ve back, only this time you’re getting an A in Social Media.

Before you leap, learn from your listening and create realistic and valuable key performance indicators (KPIs) for your activities. See how you create a vision of return-on-investment for social media activities that will have your bosses wheeling barrows of budget to your desk.

10:45am – Morning Tea

11:00am – “They went Viral (You can too)”

Meet local content makers whose online videos and other activities went viral and attracted huge attention – when they weren’t even trying to sell anything. Learn the amateur’s techniques for creating low-cost but genuine media for your company.

11:45am – “The ultimate solution – making a better product”

You can spend all day fighting social-media bush-fires or you can work on developing a better product and service that no one can do anything but love. Learn the techniques of co-creation that will allow you to work with your customers to create fit-for-market propositions that sell themselves.

12:30pm – Lunch

If you didn’t drink too much at last night’s cocktails – feel free to have a wine with lunch.

1:45pm – “Trend Watching and Predictions Panel”

5 experts present their top trends for the next year – then we’ll throw it open to floor to let you select and give your opinion on the top 5. Watch our futurists squirm and make their cases.

We’ll reassess the top 5 list next year, if you can’t make the conference again – you’ll be emailed the results so you can see if you got it right.

2:30pm – “It’s kids play”

When talking isn’t enough. Learn how to create delightful experiences that grow your brand through play in the real world. Get your customers off the laptops and into each others laps. Uniting location awareness, social media and play-psychology to get customers to really experiencing and share your brand.

3:15pm – Afternoon Tea

Maybe a drink with afternoon tea to get those creative juices flowing?

4:30pm – Charity Challenge

Utilising what we already knew, and hopefully a few things we’ve learnt, we’ll split into groups and come up with a creative idea for one of the charities we met yesterday.

Each team will present back at the end and the winning team takes the crown. Oh, and the charities are all winners thanks to you.

5:30 – Day 2 Fridge-door doodling, Cocktail Game winners announced & Wrap-Up

We wrap it up by announcing the winners and giving you a chance to say what you liked and what you loathed.

1. ^[1] We may have read that as “more fun” ;) ↩
2. ^[2] That’s Jo and I. ↩
3. ^[3] e.g. Barcamps ↩
4. ^[4] Ye Olde Worlde reader of entrails ↩

I’ve been remiss in my donating the past couple of weeks – being busy transitioning between jobs. So I’ll combine two weeks into one entry.

We found ourselves watching American Idol Gives Back while getting ready to go out last night. Quite possibly one of the worst mixes of self-promotion and blatant heart-string tugging I have seen – their attempt at Telethon irony was truly painful. But, in the portion I watched, they had a few good causes features.

Nothing But Nets

So I went via the United Nations Foundation site and found a couple of funds that the TV special had got me thinking about.

For the week ending 26 April I’m donating to The UN Trust Fund to End Violence Against Women who have a lengthy but self explanatory name at least.

And for the week ending 19th April I’m donating to Nothing But Nets who have a nice simple mission of getting bed nets to Malaria stricken regions.

They both use the same donation form and process I came across when I gave to The Global Fund via the UN Foundation a few weeks back so it was nice and easy.

The Webby Awards are not, as they are sometimes touted, “The Oscar’s of the Internet” – but they are a fairly sought after accolade for Digital work.

I thought I’d check out who was nominated in the Charitable Organizations category this year.

ASPCA are the American Society for the prevention of Cruelty to Animals. Their site is, predictably, full of sad little animals staring at your with eyes pleading for donations. But once you get beyond that they have a wealth of information for pet owners, lovers and a wide variety of calls-to-action: whether how to treat your own animal better or how to rescue those owned by the less caring.

The Teenage Cancer Trust is a British focused charity who support youth with cancer. The site is tidy and has a good mix of well written copy and video content. The main functional innovation seems to be a support social network. I couldn’t tell how well implemented or utilised this was but it felt a little “obvious” as far as targeting youth are concerned. Perhaps it is awesome.

The Nature Conservancy

The Nature Conservancy are, in their words, “the leading conservation organization working around the world to protect ecologically important lands and waters for nature and people.” Their site is a bit of a mess navigation wise but it has some good information and suggested actions. I do also like that they include clear links to their ratings on various charity-assessment sites.

Bono founded ONE.org and it is the most charity-cool of the nominees. It’s also the most well designed site and keeps things nice and simple. But the calls-to-action seem more focused on promoting the charity itself than taking any useful action.

The final nominee, SocialVibe aren’t a charity as such but a way of raising money for charities by joining up and taking sponsored actions (by the likes of Nike and Electrolux) rather than donating directly. Its definitely youth-focused, entirely in flash, and attempts to get you to push content to Facebook at every opportunity so I’m not likely to make it a regular visit. But if watching a TVC from HTC can make a charity money I’m happy to do it.

I was planning on picking the best website and donating to that charity but in the end I opted to give to The Nature Conservancy because they were running a campaign focused on the recent Gulf oil spill. Their donation process was fairly standard – with a nice post-donation page suggesting what you could do next. I always find the receipt page after donating a bit of a let-down as an end of journey.

An update on my The Fred Hollows Foundation donation from a few weeks back: I received some snail-mail from them which had two quite useful follow-ups. One was a Mother’s day targeted campaigning suggesting I donate on her behalf as a gift. An email probably would have sufficed for that.

The second was a summary and receipt for my donations to them for the whole tax year. What I liked about this – as I’ve not been one to claim a rebate on my donations in the past – is that they calculate for you how much your tax rebate on the donations will be and then suggest you donate it back to them. Excellent notion.

A few days ago I ran a quick competition for amusing guesses as to what my next job was going to be.

Since then I’ve finished, after four years, working with the great folk at Shift and I’m now over at Doubleclique with some more great folk, working as Digital Strategist – which some people did guess, but hey that doesn’t qualify as amusing (or a guess probably – you gossipy lot you).

So the winner of the poll, it turns out, was the Hustler entry – as illustrated by the still from the brilliant Midnight Cowboy. I’m hoping my new workmates won’t take anything from whatever you lot were saying by choosing this. Thanks.

I’ll contact the lovely young woman – who actually meant quite the opposite with her entry – about who I should donate, as well as the other winner. In the meanwhile the entries are now in voting order below with the films used detailed – for those who couldn’t guess them all.

Hustler - Midnight Cowboy

Salesman - Glengarry Glenn Ross

Horse Whisperer - Brokeback Mountain

Raver - 24 Hour Party People

Superhero - X-Men

Fortune Cookie Writer - Chinatown

Barman - Cocktail

Corporate Raider - Wallstreet

Facebook Employee - Me, You and Everyone we Know

KGB Agent - Nikita

Microsoft Employee - Pirates of Silicon Valley

Zookeeper - Bringing up Baby

So it was my final day, after four years, at Shift on Friday. Which I mentioned on Twitter and Facebook and it got people to guessing what I was doing next.

So I decided to offer to offer $100 to the preferred charity (and a cocktail) of whoever had the most creative idea. I’ve picked the top twelve and have mashed them up with stills from some of my favourite movies below.

You can do two things. Vote in the poll at the end to help me decide who gets the donation choice and the cocktail.

And secondly, whoever guesses the most movies featured correctly will get $50 to their favourite charity and a $50 bartab at their favourite joint. Some of the movies are literal interpretations of the job, others are slightly cryptic.

Barman

Fortune Cookie Writer

Corporate Raider

Facebook Employee

Horse Whisperer

KGB Agent

Microsoft Employee

Raver

Salesman

Hustler

Superhero

Zookeeper

Vote for the best

Choose the winning idea below. Yes, vote for yourselves if you want!

Guess the movies

Names the movies in the images, in any order below. Whoever guesses the most wins.

We’ve been watching “The Machine That Changed the World” a 1992 documentary about the history of the computer. You can read more about it here or watch it on Google Video.

It’s worth a watch for the history and for some kitsch entertainment seeing both the past and the future through an early 90s lens. Watching the last episode, which had an interview with someone who was involved in the Electronic Frontier Foundation (EFF), settled my donation for this week.

When our freedoms in the networked world come under attack, the Electronic Frontier Foundation (EFF) is the first line of defense. EFF broke new ground when it was founded in 1990 — well before the Internet was on most people’s radar — and continues to confront cutting-edge issues defending free speech, privacy, innovation, and consumer rights today. From the beginning, EFF has championed the public interest in every critical battle affecting digital rights.

The EFF site is focused on news updates and campaign information. They also have handy “rights packs”, such as one for bloggers’. When it comes to donation options you can buy some swag (such as the stickers you see on everything in The IT Crowd), give as a one-off, join as a supporting member or choose from a number of other options. Of course you can also support them, and the issues, but visiting their “action center” which has email templates and the like for current causes.

I chose the membership path this time – they have a nice form which allows you to choose from a fixed donation amount or enter anything. Either way this amount then filters the “membership premiums” that are displayed – from stickers up to packs of t-shirts and caps depending on how much you give. I like swag but I chose the “select this option if you would like your entire contribution to go to EFF’s work.” button.

The form is actually hosted on their own servers (when geeks do charity) and splits the process into two pages, with a third for confirmation – slightly more involved feeling than most donation pages but easy-to-use nonetheless. They present a thank you and a receipt immediately and then email a copy. Easy.

There were the usual come-around-like-clock-work stories in the press this week about violent crime being on the rise. Which always draws the already close-to-the-surface cynic out of me. Not to diminish the impact of crime but rather the media’s sensationalism of it. However, by some coincidence at the end of the week I found myself giving a lesson on site analytics to a staff member from the local Victim Support organisation.

Victim Support is the community response to people affected by crime and trauma. We help people hurt by crime and trauma find hope, strength and resilience in the face of grief and trauma. Our 24/7 service is provided free of charge in communities large and small throughout New Zealand. It is delivered by trained volunteers who give their time, energy and expertise to help people in their local community.

Which got me thinking, so this week’s donation is going to Victim Support.

Victim Support

Their site is simple and cleanly divides content into silos for victims/donors/volunteers/researchers. The donor silo sends you straight to a hosted donation form which is fairly standard and appears integrated with the site (but isn’t). The only failing was that required fields weren’t indicated in any way. Being given the choice of an “anonymous” donation which removed the need for any details except for credit card was nice – though clearly this isn’t actually anonymous. If you choose to give your details you do get the option to decide if/how you want receipting – either none, email or post. Which many other charities could do with – having a random receipt turn up in the mail a week or two later is just wasteful of some of my donation.

Nice and easy.

Its Plunket’s appeal week and this year they are doing a Superheroes campaign. They have a neat little microsite (disclaimer: produced by some of the great team at my place-of-work Shift) where you can do a range of superhero themed things – which culminate in a dress-up at work day tomorrow.

I’m not really a big dress-up fan so I figured I would give my charity donation to Plunket this week instead of making myself look silly(-er than normal).

Plunket is the largest provider of support services for the development, health and wellbeing of children. These services are available free to New Zealand families with children from birth to 5 years old.

Once you’ve had fun turning yourself into a virtual hero and posting it to facebook you can click through to the donation process which goes to a skinned paged hosted by givealittle. They’re a local third-party service for smaller charities who need a hand accepting donations. I was a little surprised Plunket needed one.

Plunket - Superheroes

Their form was a single page that was easy to complete – but it confused me by telling me that there was a credit card fee – not normally something you get informed of. This was placed on on top of the amount I entered.

I received an email promptly after with a PDF receipt attached – but it came from givealittle.co.nz rather than Plunket and I had to look carefully on both email and receipt to confirm it was related to my donation. It also confirmed that my donation amount was the amount I volunteered + the transaction fee. A little odd. I realise a charity doesn’t get every cent donate, this seemed a little TMI.

Either way, great charity and now I have an excuse when I’m asked when I’m not dressed-up tomorrow!

As I finally had a credit card again (seriously, I have the worst luck getting things delivered to this apartment) I was able to send money to The Global Fund and Fred Hollows Foundation from previous weeks. They both presented printable receipts after the donation form and the latter also sent email confirmation. Sweet.