So we^[1] had somewhat of a response^[2] to our not actually a real conference programme.

We’d kind of like to just skip the conference and take those who responded out for cocktails. Actually that might happen.^[3] The conference though… well we also had people asking about speaking, offering to help and wanting to try some of the ideas at their own conferences – or wanting speakers on the topics we listed. Hey, the ideas are free. As in speech – and beer. Well, speech. The beer will require a sponsor. ^[4].

We were really just giving @gnat some ideas over drinks (always fun, even more so in person) but it seems a shame to waste the bringing together of all you talented and excitable folk who responded. So how about this – leave your details below and we’ll see what happens. Whether you want to speak at a get-your-hands-dirty-like-your-martinis () conference, know someone you think should speak (even/especially if they’re not a speaking-circuit speaker), have some other ideas, or just want to drink cocktails/turn up if something like it happened.

We might not be involved, but if we hear anything we’ll tip you off. We promise not to give your details to anyone else. But if we think that you’re a good match, then we’ll introduce you to what/who-ever via email – individually.^[5]

1. ^[1] that’s teh jo and i. you might know us from such things as, that couple you danced with manically that one night, them who got unmarried then cup-ed for reasons you didn’t quite grasp, or them-with-their-powers-combined-form-captain-excitable ↩
2. ^[2] some of the responses via twitter ↩
3. ^[3] Actually, the next time you see us say the words “sleigh bells” and the cocktail is on us. Unless it comes up accidentally in a conversation about Xmas because that’d make December an expensive month for us. ↩
4. ^[4] gratis versus libre ↩
5. ^[5] because vegans hate spam even more than omnivores ↩

@Gnat was asking for suggestions on how to do a “social media” conference with integrity^[1] So we^[2] had some drinks and created a programme for a fictional conference. It’s a bit tongue-in-cheek, mildly laced with in-jokes and probably altogether too-much for a real conference. But there might be some ideas there if anyone is looking.

Having been to conferences Gnat (and the lovely and talented Jenine) have organised I can confidently say, the planning’s not done (well) in an evening over booze. I’m sure at least 2 more (nights or cocktails) would be required to really polish this up.

We did try to solve a few problems, some of them specific to social media and other online marketing conferences, some to bad conferences in general:

• Too many conferences are packed with speakers and attendees from Agencies who are just there to sell their services through thinly disguised “case studies”: So we’ve given them an explicit place to sell, in a more entertaining and competitive way.
• People come from client-side to conferences with real problems but often there’s no one connecting the dots between sessions and their problems: So we’ve given them an opportunity to get expert opinions.
• Sessions at conferences are often disconnected with no consistent narrative, at the best there is a theme: So we’ve themed both days. And more so we’ve created a mechanism whereby a portion of each presentation tackles the same challenge – to showcase the ideas in a consistent way.
• We’re a big fan of less-organised, and more interactive unconferences^[3] where the programme, and sessions are more collaborative affairs. But we recognise not everyone is keen to have to participate quite so much. So we’ve created an environment where people can interact if they want to, and if they’re shy the programme will gently ramp up to a point where they might speak up over 2 days.
• Agencies are there, clients are there… but with all this talk of conversation, where are the customers? So we’ve introduced sessions where we bring customers into the conference to hear from them first hand.
• We know companies send people to conferences to network, but not everyone is comfortable around strangers: So we’ve created a business card swapping game to break the ice.
• We like to give back: So we’ve created a session where attendees can put their knowledge to work for a charity.
• We think life is better if its more like a game: So we’ve made a game to play throughout the conference.

So onto the programme.

Cocktails & dreams: Raising the bar for Social Media Marketing

Notes for Attendees:

• The conference would prefer if you refrain from engaging with digital social media during the conference and instead engage with our speakers and your fellow attendees during sessions.
• Taking notes digitally is discouraged – full videos of speakers and notes will be provided via an online locker immediately after the conference.
• Creative analogue note taking is encouraged – A2 paper and felt-tips will be provided to every attendee at your tables. After a session, if you’re proud of your doodlings submit them to be put on our “fridge-door”. Best doodlings win prizes at the end of each day. If you can’t draw – capture a quote.
• We’ll have our session-visualisers in attendance to mind-map out each presentation visually – these will be available on the wall immediately after to spark conversation during breaks.

Cocktail Networking Game

When you arrive at the conference you’ll be given a pack of customised business cards with your details on one side – and various cocktail ingredients on the other. And throughout the 2-days you’ll find clues hidden on presenters slides, given to you by staff and elsewise – leading you to work out the ingredients in the mystery cocktail. Over the days, between sessions and at the Cocktail session you should trade your cards with people you meet so you get all the mystery ingredients. Be selective which ones you give away! Its a great excuse to get to know your fellow attendees – and to win.

Programme

Day 1

Getting to know your customers (listening)

The theme for today is using social media and conversational research to get closer to your customers by listening – before engaging.

8:30am – Welcome

Opening words from the chairperson.

8:45am – “Ad Agencies vs. Social Media Consultant Challenge” Introduction

3 Ad Agency creatives and 3 Social Media consultants will go head to head to solve a business problem using their respective disciplines. Meet the contestants and hear the challenges. They’ll present back on the second day.

If you’d like to participate as a contestant, or have a business problem you need solved (or just a product or service you need a creative marketing for) then sign-up in advance and you might get chosen. Show off your skills or win some free work from some of the best.

9:00am – Meet the business

Throughout the speaker sessions over the next two days the last 5-10 minutes of each presentation will be dedicated to the speaker exploring what the ideas they have presented might mean for a fictional business, “Cocktails & dreams”. In order to help you really see what their ideas mean in a consistent fashion. In this quick session we’ll introduce you to the make-believe business and their challenge in releasing a new premium spirit range into a crowded market. Then throughout each session you’ll see a story develop detailing how they might achieve success through social media from various points-of-view.

9:15am – “When all we had was social media”

Before the invention of the printing press and mass media, all media was conversational. Learn about the history of conversationa; marketing – from campfires to ancient market places. Relearning the on hands-on techniques of persuasion we’re only just regaining now with the rise of “social media” and “word of mouth” marketing.

10:00am – “Living with your customers”

Learn the techniques of the digital ethnographer who conducts research into online, and physical communities, to understand how they use technology to shape their lives and the places they live. See how you can conduct your own online research and workshop with customers to gain insights that make your marketing and products really shine.

10:45am – Morning tea

Not yet time for cocktails.

11:00am – “Social media bullies”

When loudmouths ruin it for your real customers. Learn how to weed out the social media douchebags who are just out to gain attention and notoriety by criticising your business. Techniques for silencing the naysayers and letting your real customers engage with your brand via social media without the noise. How to make loving your brand a rewarding experience for you and them.

11:45am – “5-minute case studies”

45 minutes of quick-fire presentations from agencies and clients. Each presenting a single case-study of true success, or abject failure via social media.

If you’d like to present your case-study then sign-up in advance.

12:30pm – Lunch

A drink with lunch is OK right?

1:45pm – “Being fun to work with”

If you dread meetings – or fear people dread your meetings then you need this session. Learn from agency creatives how they workshop creative ideas for advertising campaigns and how these techniques can be used within your organisation to generate insights and ideas for social media execution.

2:30pm – “Everyone can do it”

Social media skills are no good in the hands of a few. When everyone in the world can tweet a question at your business – you’ll need some backup to answer them back. Lead about operationalising social media for supporting your products and service. How to create a framework for letting your staff safely listen to, and answer questions in social media when things go wrong.

3:15pm – Afternoon tea

Sorry, still not time for cocktails.

3:30pm – “Not 3:45 live: cases from the kids”

Meet six Primary and High School kids and hear about how they use social media technologies in their everyday lives to get direct insights into the consumer behaviours your business will have to be dealing with any day now.

4:00pm – Charity Challenge Introduction

Meet four charities – each does some great work, but each is faced with the same problem – getting their cause noticed with little marketing budget amongst a sea of other causes.

Each will spend 5 minutes introducing themselves and then you can forget about them… till tomorrow – or discuss with other attendees between sessions or over drinks how we might help them.

4:30pm – “Reading the entrails”

Learn how to become a modern day haruspex^[4] and read your analytics, search engine rankings and various other digital sensors to measure you and your competitor’s success. Learn when to believe the numbers and when to ignore them and go on gut instinct.

5:15pm – Fridge-door doodling winners announced and Day 1 summary

5:30pm – Cocktails w/ the “Word-of-Mouths cocktail challenge”

Join us for drinks, networking and a challenge.

Practice your ability to make ideas go viral – invent a cocktail from our range of spirits and mixers and try and sell your fellow attendees on it as you chat about the first day. After the first few rounds conference staff will choose the one they heard the most buzz about as the winner. And you’ll no doubt get some clues for the cocktail game.

Day 2

“Reaching out to your customers (talking)”

By the second day we’ve decided you know enough to let you talk to your customers – so we’ll focus on acting on your learnings from day 1.

9:00am – Day 2 Introduction

9:15am – “Ad Agencies versus Social Media Consultant Challenge” presentation

Our Agencies and SMCs present back their ideas from yesterday’s challenge and you decide the winners! It’ll be your turn to get creative later in the day.

10:00am – “School reports”

Ever since High School we’ve avoided anything resembling the dreaded school reports – they’ve back, only this time you’re getting an A in Social Media.

Before you leap, learn from your listening and create realistic and valuable key performance indicators (KPIs) for your activities. See how you create a vision of return-on-investment for social media activities that will have your bosses wheeling barrows of budget to your desk.

10:45am – Morning Tea

11:00am – “They went Viral (You can too)”

Meet local content makers whose online videos and other activities went viral and attracted huge attention – when they weren’t even trying to sell anything. Learn the amateur’s techniques for creating low-cost but genuine media for your company.

11:45am – “The ultimate solution – making a better product”

You can spend all day fighting social-media bush-fires or you can work on developing a better product and service that no one can do anything but love. Learn the techniques of co-creation that will allow you to work with your customers to create fit-for-market propositions that sell themselves.

12:30pm – Lunch

If you didn’t drink too much at last night’s cocktails – feel free to have a wine with lunch.

1:45pm – “Trend Watching and Predictions Panel”

5 experts present their top trends for the next year – then we’ll throw it open to floor to let you select and give your opinion on the top 5. Watch our futurists squirm and make their cases.

We’ll reassess the top 5 list next year, if you can’t make the conference again – you’ll be emailed the results so you can see if you got it right.

2:30pm – “It’s kids play”

When talking isn’t enough. Learn how to create delightful experiences that grow your brand through play in the real world. Get your customers off the laptops and into each others laps. Uniting location awareness, social media and play-psychology to get customers to really experiencing and share your brand.

3:15pm – Afternoon Tea

Maybe a drink with afternoon tea to get those creative juices flowing?

4:30pm – Charity Challenge

Utilising what we already knew, and hopefully a few things we’ve learnt, we’ll split into groups and come up with a creative idea for one of the charities we met yesterday.

Each team will present back at the end and the winning team takes the crown. Oh, and the charities are all winners thanks to you.

5:30 – Day 2 Fridge-door doodling, Cocktail Game winners announced & Wrap-Up

We wrap it up by announcing the winners and giving you a chance to say what you liked and what you loathed.

1. ^[1] We may have read that as “more fun” ;) ↩
2. ^[2] That’s Jo and I. ↩
3. ^[3] e.g. Barcamps ↩
4. ^[4] Ye Olde Worlde reader of entrails ↩

Since then I’ve finished, after four years, working with the great folk at Shift and I’m now over at Doubleclique with some more great folk, working as Digital Strategist – which some people did guess, but hey that doesn’t qualify as amusing (or a guess probably – you gossipy lot you).

So the winner of the poll, it turns out, was the Hustler entry – as illustrated by the still from the brilliant Midnight Cowboy. I’m hoping my new workmates won’t take anything from whatever you lot were saying by choosing this. Thanks.

I’ll contact the lovely young woman – who actually meant quite the opposite with her entry – about who I should donate, as well as the other winner. In the meanwhile the entries are now in voting order below with the films used detailed – for those who couldn’t guess them all.

Hustler - Midnight Cowboy

Salesman - Glengarry Glenn Ross

Horse Whisperer - Brokeback Mountain

Raver - 24 Hour Party People

Superhero - X-Men

Fortune Cookie Writer - Chinatown

Barman - Cocktail

Corporate Raider - Wallstreet

Facebook Employee - Me, You and Everyone we Know

KGB Agent - Nikita

Microsoft Employee - Pirates of Silicon Valley

Zookeeper - Bringing up Baby

So I decided to offer to offer $100 to the preferred charity (and a cocktail) of whoever had the most creative idea. I’ve picked the top twelve and have mashed them up with stills from some of my favourite movies below.

You can do two things. Vote in the poll at the end to help me decide who gets the donation choice and the cocktail.

And secondly, whoever guesses the most movies featured correctly will get $50 to their favourite charity and a $50 bartab at their favourite joint. Some of the movies are literal interpretations of the job, others are slightly cryptic.

Barman

Fortune Cookie Writer

Corporate Raider

Facebook Employee

Horse Whisperer

KGB Agent

Microsoft Employee

Raver

Salesman

Hustler

Superhero

Zookeeper

Vote for the best

Choose the winning idea below. Yes, vote for yourselves if you want!

Guess the movies

Names the movies in the images, in any order below. Whoever guesses the most wins.

Having only 5 minutes I decided to forgo slides altogether and go for a quick slice of delight, insight and impact. Or at least, that was the plan. In thinking about a topic beforehand I noticed it was Hip Hop Appreciation week the week of the event which was too timely given my fondness for the genre and using it as a metaphor.

So I decided to examine the art of the remix from the position that it isn’t a recent phenomenon but one that had roots, pop-culturally, in hip hop. Hence, “we didn’t invent the remix”. The “we” being the web 2.0 crowd attending. I then briefly sought to (tongue-firmly in cheek) eek out some lessons about branding that one could learn from hip hop.

I presented as a spoken-word poem, with some backing beats played from a ghetto blaster, a 5 minute countdown clock around my neck (ala Flava Flav), and with record sleeves to hold up as my talking points.

Originally my topic was Drinking from the firehose and concentrated on website measurement, but I diverted thought streams a little and decided to talk more about governance, visualisation and telling the story of websites rather than just their statistics.

I came up with the metaphor of a website’s operational team being like the tactician on a yacht and discussed how this might inform how a team measures and reports on their online activities.

As a thread throughout my presentation I created a make-believe assignment – as if 10 year old Thomas had written about the 1987 America’s cup and his favourite member of the New Zealand squad, the tactician Brad Butterworth. The faux-child drawings were a useful talking point and piece of levity between sections of the presentation.

At this stage all I has is a new bio (see below) and a bit of self deprecation – as to what topic i eventually speak on, we’ll see,

Thomas wrote an article on the topic of online etiquette in 1993. For the past 16 years he has consistently failed to practice what he preached. He has, however, been a long time advocate of the medium’s conversational nature and applying it to anything from research through to marketing. But mostly as argumentum ad hominem. Talk: will last only 5 minutes. For those used to his lengthy rants hearing him have to shut up after only this long … will be worth the price of admission alone.

Plenty of awesome folk speaking, so open invitation to anyone in the area!

I’ll post this as a podcast on this site when done but if you’d like to have me present something similar then contact me.

At this stage I’m planning on presenting a modified version of the piece I gave at the TIANZ conference in 2008.

It was originally called, From story telling to play – the co-creative future of media but as usual by time it was locked in I had a more poetic and less descriptive title.

The conference programme description was,

Story telling is a timeless aspect of great media and indeed great marketing. The digital revolution has grown the ability of every person to tell and disseminate stories whether via text, photography or video. Brands are now learning to harness these creative consumers and work with them, not against them, to expand their own stories. In some cases this story telling is transitioning from co-creation to play – not only in the online arena but in physical environments. No longer restricted to nerds in basements or children in sandboxes – millions of people around the world are engaging like never before with media properties and brands through imaginative play.

In the end I focused on the cultural benefits of play and how technologies are re-enabling a form of play that is making the development of culture a more democratic and rewarding process than it has been for some time.